The Slump
Have any of you gone through career burnout, bore-out, or just simply being depressed? I never expected to write my first post on my personal blog talking about this.
Well, I've been fighting through this so-called "slump" in my life for at least the past eighteen months. The slump is like an upward hill where the steepness is so steep that no matter how hard you try, it just feels impossible to get over it.
I can remember days when I tried my hardest to just focus at work, but somehow my mind just kept drifting off, and I ended up aimlessly scrolling through YouTube or reading through Reddit. Time just flies by, and before you know it, I just wasted one day. And the biggest thing is that this isn't happening just for one day. I'm not proud to say, but this has been happening to me for many days, weeks, across my entire life. Maybe this is just being human, but I think I've taken it too far.
Where it all first started
I think it all started when I worked really hard for a promotion in 2024 and kept getting conflicting directions from my leadership team. One day, it could be that "hey, you're doing great, we are gonna move you to a specific track for promotion path", and then the other day, "hey, there is a layoff happening, it's not happening". I'm pretty much over this, but I believe that this was the beginning of what happened to me. I think this, coupled with my ADHD and my desire to achieve things really quickly, has kind of caused this slump in me.
I tried to venture into things I want to do, but I never really found success with them either. So this toxic, vicious cycle of me trying to be successful in my professional career alongside trying to be successful in my personal life repeatedly drains my confidence repeatedly.
The year of finding myself
In 2025, a few big things happened to me. I was promoted to staff software engineer at my current company, which was honestly a lifelong career goal of mine. I also then met the love of my life, Stephanie. Till this day, I have nothing but gratitude for meeting this amazing lady. I bought a house, a car, and I've managed to drop 8 kg for my health, and I even got the opportunity to join a program by Iterative to learn how to validate startup ideas.
In hindsight, it has honestly been an exciting year. I learned plenty, and I went out of my comfort zone to try out new things. I tried to build products on my own. I tried to use AI for autonomous coding. I went to play pickleball. I sprained my ankle twice. I think it's pretty insane if you ask me.
Somehow, yet at the end of the year, I still feel like I accomplished nothing, or there's a gap in me that has not been fulfilled. When I look back at my goals from previous years, I notice a recurring pattern in what I want to accomplish. I have done plenty, but in my head, I felt like I had done nothing.
Reading through this, it obviously felt like it's not logical for me to feel this way. A change in my mindset has to happen, and a change in my behavior has to happen moving forward.